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Welcome

One Country. One billion Opinions....

This is the other side of me.

Blogged out for all to see.

This is a country of one billion opinions.

From Pak Attack to local Pub Attack,

everyone has an opinion of his own and push it hard.
In the local trains.. office lunch time..
over cellphone while driving etc etc.

This is just one more venue...

A digitised Gappa...
with my own Scripts and Cartoons.
These are 'Midnight Musings'-
'mused' and posted only in midnights,
when, in the depth of the darkness in a melancholic setting,
the only matching vision that conjures up in the mind
is the future of this country...
And the choices are -
Get spooky and scoot away or
turn spoofy and blog it out....
And the result is here for all to see...

No holds barred. Letting the hair down

on everything around to air my opinion...

where else except from behind a digital facade

like this blog....

So we begin....

Chain Mail Mania... 'Forward this mail to 10 people in 4 days or else ...

I respect and pity all those who are gripped by fear of being punished,

in case they dont forward the mails with the pix of a Goddess to 

atleast 10 people in four days or some such crazy no., 

as stipulated in the chain mail.

 

They expect punishment by the very God 

whom they hope would save them in any crisis. 

A disaster is certain they say.

On the other hand if you send, then you may get a windfall. 

They go to the extent of citing case studies. 

Mr.Shankar didnt forward the mail and he incurred huge business loss. 

Mr.Sharma forwarded and he was rewarded with a windfall.

This is one way ticket to Stone age back. 

The civilisation painfully progressed over several centuries and

discarded disgusting practices like Sati along the way 

after so many centuries of arguments and counter arguments. 

To discard an idiotic practice that seeps in to human conciousness 

surreptiously alongside the evolution exercise, 

it takes a few generations of hard work by good samaritans. 

And here we are - introducing a new one with all enthu by a pack of Mail-forward-Militants. 

On the one hand there are enough non believers and Atheists who are laughing at our faith in God.

Now on the other, these jokers invite them with Aao Bull Mujhe Maaro types adding to our misery.

The Atheists will have a field day adding this to their long list of superstitions.

God is beyond chain mails. 
Can God ever say that if you send this mail to 10 people within 4 days 
something very good will happen. Or punish if you dont.
It is God or a Goon?

Are we so gullible and weak that such incentives can turn us on.
Do we need mail -forward -linked incentives from God
like an upmarket Mall's incentive scheme?
What are we reducing our Gods to?
Whose cockeyed idea is this to push God to become our products.
God is our product or we are God's Product?

People may argue that "it is a matter of faith. 
If you dont want to forward leave it. who is forcing you?"
But why create a new faith in such cheap mail forwards.
Why drag divinity to this level.
Tomarrow someone will send an sms. If you forward to  5 

then you will get blessed..blah..blah..

And still the argument will hold good.

Look at the divinity in the breathtaking pix of the deity sent with the mail.
Look with all surrender-bhav and feel the intense divine vibes.
Such a God will punish us for not forwarding the mail ?
Or reward us only if we forward the Mail?

Read Adi Shankara's Saundarya Lahiri ..
And see the picture of the Goddess..
enjoying verse by verse

Lose yourself in that state of Meditation..
Probably that can get some rewards-
that too if that was not the objective...

Such elated divine experience is to be obtained 
from the forms of God in a very noble prayerful state.
Not the present day culture of SMS and Mail forwards
with strings attached - If you do it..then.. If you dont do it then..
It is a plain insult to the Goddess whose photo is attached.

Here Iam. 
In the witness box testifying that
I DIDNOT FORWARD such mails to anyone.
And I was not punished by my dear God.

I would definitely forward the picture alone,
to many whom I love and respect 
without strings attached saying -
"Please see the beautiful picture of the Goddess encl.
Thanks to the person who captured it painstakingly.
It is so nice."

Yours 'UnChainMailingly

R.Chandrashekar
9821482711

The God Funda

Religions are harmless, to say the least.

But the ones who act as their Guardian Angels are not.

It is time to save the Religions from their Protagonists

who seek political mileage with a hidden agenda.

Save Religions from Protoganists...

In a country where we have to save Students from teachers,

the Patients from Doctors, Children from Parents

and Public from the Police, it is not surprising to see

that Religions need tobe saved from these Protagonists.

Our little or No knowledge of God helps them.

They leverage on our ignorance .

They declare a war pushing us to save our respective Gods.

And we get Paranoid perceiving our Gods tobe in danger! And rush to save.

Even if it means demolishing rivals' place of worship!

...demolish others' places of worship.

Rushing to save their Gods in danger!

Gods save us or we save our Gods?

Its true - All Gods are one. All names are His.

But it seems a long way to reach that.

Firstly we have to see the same Gods in same names.

Then we have to see same God in different names.

And then see all Gods and all names as only one.

Ha…Ha…Confused?
Then you are close to discovering the Confucius in you!!

First things first. Seeing Same God in Same names.

Lord Ganpathi round your street corner in a small temple

is not seen as the same Ganpathi- Siddhi Vinayak of Prabhadevi.

The neighbourhood Church is not the same as in Bandra.

and so on….

(The reason why we trek long distance to visit the other shrines

bypassing the local ones of the same deity ....)

Then only comes seeing Jesus and Ganpathi as same.

After that only comes seeing Jesus in all .

Ganpathi in everything around.

And all names as His etc.

For the fierce consumers that we are,

even same-generic-name Gods in different temples

are not the same, but different brands .

Even if the look and feel are nearly the same

each one has a different History and in different Geography.

Hence possess different Brand Equity.

Otherwise why Tirupathi and Vatican rake in so much moolah,

when there are so many Balaji Mandirs and Churches nearshore.

We are great brand loyalists.

Whether it is our Newspaper,tobacco or our Personal Gods in specific temples-

we don't change our brands that easily .Unless they fail us repeatedly.

Because-

We nurture God as our Product! Forgetting that we are His products!!

This is the same nation which discovered the great Truth -Advaita.(without duality)

Oh! How far we have moved away from that great Desi Wisdom..

Shortly you will see how some yankee scientists claim IPR on this (Advaita)registering over there..like our Basmathi rice, Margosa and Baitak before Ganpathi Bapa.(click on the video link below to see how our own :Baitak is claimed as their discovery and this version copied from our Ganesh Mandirs is copyrighted as Super brain yoga by the Americans)...

Click on the line below-
Video Link : Our own Desi -"Baitak" before Lord Ganesha hijacked by Americans and branded "Super Brain Yoga" and Copyrighted already

EMI - The Eternal Misery Invited

A short story of shortchanged youth of India

With Globalisation and Liberalisation, it appeared as though all our past sins have been wiped out. We felt we were airlifted to a land of Paradise.

Our young ones got absorbed in the campus itself. The demand grew so much that at one point they wanted only able bodied young men and women with Reading and writing skills. Nothing more. The IT companies somehow felt that they were from a different planet with extra ordinary bio engineering skills with which they can manipulate the DNA of the mortals of this Planet to get IT reflexes even from the ones who did Botony or Biochemistry.

The marriage market is the best indicator of the market value . The going rate for dowry for IT guys should be 'heard' (from Andhra) tobe believed. All roads were leading only to the IT station.

And our folks went overboard. What their fathers couldnt earn even at the end of their career, these kiddos got as campus offer in the last year of their grad itself. The old serving men started losing importance in the home front from their respective spouses, who shifted loyalty overnight casting their votes in favour of their neo-rich young children . The response for the loving "Sunti Ho" from these A.K.Hangals stopped from the spouses. Low earning poor fathers became the first victims of the IT boom.

It seemed as though the party would never be over. We reached a point of including 'IT and computer' in the syllabus of even Nursery schools.

Except National Anthem we changed everything to include key words IT and Computer.

This Richness didnt turn into Real wealth. They all were in a tearing hurry.They discounted their future Pay Slips to live as on yesterday. The 'uncertain' future was depended on to fuel the 'certain' todays. And that mismatch did it in.

A guy in Bhandup with 1000 sq.ft flat would sell it and move 10 min drive southwards to Chembur and buy similar 1000 sq.ft flat in a tower, paying additional 30 lacs. increasing the EMI by 30-35k. per month. Extrapolate this and you can more or less state the cases of the most.

Essentially it amounts to paying 35k p.m. to save 10 min drive or thereabouts. The only excuse is - "You see it is a modern tower. The price appreciation will be much higher someday."

Now when the market tanked, the EMI remained where they were,while the property prices nose dived. Jobs became shaky.

Everything has become uncertain. Except of course - month after month, the ghost that haunts with sickening regularity called - EMI- Eternal Misery Invited or you can simply call it- Every Month Irritation.

The entire youth of the nation is now EMI-struck in some way or other. A new version of bonded labour. In many cases it is the amount of the evaporated value of the property bought whose value tanked.

Now the doting mothers who felt that they produced wonderkids without any contribution from their spouses, started replying in low tone to the A.K.Hangals' "Sunti Ho" with their erstwhile familiar lines -"Kyon chilla rahe ho. Idhari tho hun."

They dont understand economy or stock markets. But all that they see is their smart Munnas are not jubilant as before. They keep asking estate agents about the prevailing price almost everyday. They keep using the word EMI in hushed tone while talking to their pals.

The job has become painful. Bosses are making faces. Revenue targets are not reached. Salary cut is round the corner. Changing the job would mean ensuring a min.salary covering the stupid EMI-The millstone round the neck.

It is as though EMI is certain. Life is not.

Now the 1000 sq ft flat has also fallen in value by 25%. But the EMI remained where it was. Selling the flat would mean loss. And where to go. What will the relatives think. (as most of them live a relatives-centric life).Also whatever left over has been given to the Portfolio guys who promised astronomical ROI but now dont even lift the phone.And now when they say ROI, it is Return Of Investment. Not Return On Investment as it meant before.

It is as though the entire Youth of the nation has been short changed.

Youth is the Source Code of a Nation. The Nation which fails to protect them will get hacked.

This nation has a Uniqueness. It can be enriched only through Spiritual Inputs. Never with Material prosperity. Even at $ 1 trn GDP, 10% growth rate and trade surplus, Material Prosperity will still be in pockets stunted by sheer outgrowing no.of Native Indians...

Jai Ho....

Drink Baby ... Drink

Punga with Pub'Devi's...
Attack on Pub in Mangalore..

Pix courtesy: Net-Facebook

Drink Baby ... Drink.

Condemning the Pub baiters is the in-thing now.

If you have not condemned it so far, you could be branded MCP by them.. Better complete the formality of condemnation and escape their fury.

Talking about Fury, what Shakespeare actually meant but just stopped halfway is in parenthesis- "Hell hath seen no fury like the women scorned(in the Pub)"

So we also lodge our formal protest in an informal way through this and join the bandwagon.Here we go....

Drink Baby ... Drink.

How can they hit our honourable women quietly drinking( or even if doing drugs?)

in a corner without disturbing anyone except their own conscience.

Oh! Moral Hawaldars...How does it matter to you all ? As the senior women of the Nation incl.Ms.Sheila Dixit and NGOs say,it is their lives and they are matured enough to take decisions..and that include decision to spoil their own life or ruin their own families. So what.How does it matter to you.
Oh! the Moral hawaldars! Sanskruti Sepoys!!Why can't you mind your own biginess?

You Pub'Devi's! Get on with your good work.

Now as a nation we have shown that

so many are behind you as a solid force.

Drink Baby ... Drink

The money is yours. The life is yours..And the peg is..also yours.

Have you seen in recent times such a overwhelming support

for any other cause ?

Have they ever sent even a torn hand kerchief to anyone...

See what they have decided to send on your behalf.

These Moral hawaldar nuts talk of some Bharatiya Culture!

What culture.. our country has only one culture thats promising - Agriculture.
Thats why the PAWARful (sorry for the typo)ones run after that.

Rest are all sheer torture..So to escape,these kids drink a peg or two.

Shortly we shall consolidate the upsurge against this Moral goondaism

and float a campaign - "Right to Ruin (our lives)".

Everyone has a right to ruin his/her life

in any manner possible.

Only suicide is criminal and against law. Not ruining.
What even the law permits, how can the Self appointed Sanskruti Sepoys impose.

We shall carry forward this R2R (Right to Ruin in SMS language)

and get a brand ambassador sign up for this. Mostly you know whom...

And all the channels will bend backwards to telecast this R2R
for the highest TRPand associated ad revenue. Just wait and see

how we take this R2R campaign forward, converting into a Revenue model

and compete with the IPL and rake in moolah.

And fund our Pub'Devis' ODIs-(Outdoor Drinking Initiatives)

Drink Baby ... Drink.

Now dont be afraid..Pub'Devi's

Now you know whom to call up in case of trouble

while boozing with your pals.

So many hidden faces and their aunties have shown up.

And thrown their lot behind you.

Really getting goosepimples to see such upheaval .

Almost after the Independence movement

this is the one with such magnitude and intensity.

All channels kept showing it again and again (except during ad breaks!)

All columnists vied with each other to condemn in their favourite columns

even if one was only writing on Economics or Political science so far.

All Post offices turned Pink,flooded with parcels containing you know what..

In all the NGOs leave applied by their paid staff were cancelled

as there was a countrywide emergency situation and all NGOs had to respond before their competitor-NGO does, whether they are in the know of this issue or not.

Otherwise -Lok Kya Kahenge.."Itni badi baath and your NGO didnt even bother to take up the issue...." This will badly affect the fund raising next year. So can't afford to take chance.

With such massive support in the country, why bother

about the Miniscule Minority of Moral hawaldars...Sanskruti Sepoys

Culture Vultures..Country blokes Concerning only about Culture.

Getting sentimental equating women with Adi Shakti and all that stuff..

Drink Baby ... Drink.

Now Pubs will do brisk business..

More bouncers will get employed to handle the 'Moral Hooligans"..

to teach them a lesson or two if they ever venture

again to disturb the drinking dames...

Drink Baby ... Drink.

The whole nation has shown that they are with you.

Dont bother if they psyche you saying that you are the future Mothers..

It is only for those who have a future.. why bother

Drink Baby ... Drink

with both hands if need be...

N.B. I could hear many gnashing teeth. Kindly bite me through"comments" below

My New year card - 27th year in a row...

The Year that was...

Welcome back

Its my good ol'spoof

that haunts you year after year -

now 27th in a row.

Oh! 2008 . What a year !

It was as if Earth missed a few beats &

was wobbling around its axis.

Obama proved that U.S takes

5 centuries to outgrow only racial bias.

How many more to reach Indian Value System.

That we fail to uphold .And World is dying to inherit.

World economy in tailspin.

WMD(Weapons of Mass Destruction) is old hat.

Now the new release of US -WWD

Weapons of Wealth Destruction-

to kill in one go,the Institutions built over centuries -

The 'derivative' missiles!

That 'Lehmanned' the financial world flat!!

And remember those repeat ads ?

'The citi never sleeps' .

Yes.How can they

with so much under the carpet?

Sir. We got the FED grant.

Can we now change the Ad to ' Citi now sleeps'

After fierce debate for decades, now it is clear.

In Socialism, the State takes over everything

and then crumbles(USSR).

In Capitalism everything crumbles

and then the state takes over(USA).

Either way we are under the debris.

Olympics in China omitted to show a game .

The game of buying US silence over Human rights

in exchange for free market entry.

No hope Tibet. You were shortchanged for Coke.

"Boss. I just returned from Beijing.There is a better bet than Tibet.

They say if you want Coke in,don't Poke in our affairs. I agreed."

Another item added to US security manual.

'Protect Prez against possible shoe missiles'.

Now one more check in Airports.

Remove your shoes and throw.

If it has potential to reach Prez

Beep.Beep. Go back.

And the General next door found his way out.

After telling U.S -'Go fly kites'. (Read'Drones').

Which the poor U.S. does. Droning around.

And the subcontinent is in Trial & Terror mode.

Pak wants Proof. Foolproof at it.

Like a video clip of 'Kasab' being born

holding Pak flag, in backdrop of Karachi

with the same face as he looks now.

Anything else is fabricated.

"Mere' Paas Dollar hai.LET hai. Nuke hai. Fidayeen hai. Tere Paas kya hai"

"Mere' Paas Ma hai. Bharat Ma hai."

Last battle to determine who is Lanka's Raavan.

For LTTE, Rajiv was only a Recce.

In a Nation that votes for Cash,

Cash for vote drama failed to click.

'Nuclear deal' sounded like mis-spelt 'unclear deal'.

Till PM proved his mettle and nuked CPI.

Terrrorists jay-walked and killed us like flies.

Feeding the show-hungry nation

with 'The real Reality Show'.

Two nations flexed muscle

for ten jokers who slipped in through gaping holes

with signs all over -"Aao Bhail . Mujhe maro".

It was'Non state Actors' vs 'Non Actor state'!

"Atleast why don't you get your cops

trained by 'Kasab' who is already

trained in all terrorism warfare"

Chandrayan sent on a secret mission

to claim that Moon was once a part of Mumbai.

Look at its pothole surface and our monsoon roads.

What more archaeological proof do you need ?

(Now don't get 'Pak'ky and deny all proofs)

Come on Mumbaikars. Its our 'Amchi 'Moon'bai'.

"Its our Amchi 'Moon'bai"

Has Indian business arrived?

Seen with a shopping bag in the distressed west.

Now they realise -when

an Indian co. asks for price,

don't rush with Price List.

Its not the products dear, but the co.

And Satyam was a spoilsport.

First they reversed the name(Satyam - Maytas)

And then tried to reverse its fortune.

Raju. If only life is so simple...

'Satyam' Eva jayathe- How prophetic..

"Sir. That guy Mr.Ujar of Maytas

is in fact Raju of Satyam only.

He reversed his name (Raju-Ujar) as he

reversed Satyam's name to Maytas."

Reliance. The nation finds it difficult

to feed the Glutton.

Next in line-

Some 'States' acquired as its subsidiaries.

And taken the IPL way. After em'Pawar'ing them.

All rights about the model 'states' sold

including airtime of 'live' terror attacks

that can keep holding eyeballs

amid pricey ad breaks .New Revenue Model.

"Iam not the CM anymore. Iam now CEO of our State.

Now onwards we are a subsidiary of Reliance"

Almost every Indian's life is EMI driven.

FUTURE discounted in the PAST and consumed.

Now nothing left at PRESENT except EMI.

Consumerism feeds on lasting greed

that lingers for ever.

'Feed the Greed' they say-

a recipe for Social hara kiri.

Pink slip paranoia catching up.

Desi Marriage market shuns American alliances.

The Middle class Mecca is losing its charm.

Modi swung the deal in a 'Nano' sec.

Mamta. Mano ya na mano. It was his Nano.

Youth energy is evaporating.

Like flames of unused gas in oil rigs.

Many Abhinavs waiting tobe discovered.

Commandos of Taj and Oberoi.

Can you extend a bit more

and sanitise the nation also

of the left over terrorists alias 'corrupt Politicians'.

Then your mission will really be accomplished.

And the Nation will honour you with standing ovation.

Good Bye 2008. Welcome 2009.

Happy New Year

Script and Sketches by

R. Chandrashekar

Chembur Mumbai

rr_chandrasekar@rediffmail.com